Old Habits die Hard
by ShamrockNinny
Summary: Ezra had been alone for a while, alone and not cared for. Old habits die hard and now that he's with the Rebel's he can't help but feel that every little mistake could mean being gotten rid of by the Rebels. No one had wanted him before why would they want him now? When a mission goes south the ragtag family will have to prove to Ezra that he's worth it.
1. NUMBER 1

Hey here is my first Star wars rebels fiction and yes everyone judge me if it is terrible and I don't finish it just like many of my other fics. Anywho try to enjoy and don't get your hopes up. Do I need a disclaimer? obviously I wouldn't be writing this if I owned Disney and star wars which I would really like to own not only because of getting to own the characters but I get to be super rich!

* * *

He'd positioned himself atop a large crate laying flat on his stomach in order to escape prying eyes. Get to the office, leave the bomb, get out. Ezra repeated the mantra in his head. He'd faced a lot worse. Still his gut tensed in apprehension. Since joining the rebels life had gotten less dangerous while at the same time more so. he never had to worry about freezing or starving but a healthy meal and warm bed was exchanged for missions. All filled with gun fights, explosions, and evil jedi on spare occasions. All in all fairly exciting but when Ezra stopped he realized how dangerous it all was and fragile, so very very fragile. One day something could go terribly wrong. No more Ezra.

He could get left behind all over again. His abilities, already so weak, could disappear. He could already see the disappointment and anger of Kanan. He was completely useless without them. Worse then those was the possibility that they would decide he wasn't worth the trouble and hand him over to the Empire or drop him at any time. Hadn't Zeb once said that he was an obstacle to the team. The memory of being pushed back into the arms of the enemies. Cold, merciless and pitiless enemies. The only thing being said a slightly regretful "sorry".

"Ezra!"

Ezra snapped out of his reflecting and paid attention to the static voice in his ear.

"You need to move soon, your window of opportunity is going to disappear"

"Don't worry Hera you already know I got this" he replied voice dripping with sass.

"Just be careful"

Ezra rolled his eyes. Like he was going to screw around when he had a bomb in his pocket. The troopers he had been watching had finally left and Ezra hopped down from the crate. He smoothly slunk forward eventually reaching a door. Taking only a minute to crack the code the door slid open. Walking around would be ridiculous and Ezra having already planned for this slipped up into an air vent taking only moments to unscrew it. He placed the screws into his pocket and used an adhesive agent to keep the vent cover in place. It would fall in a week or so but by then it wouldn't be Ezra's problem.

"Ezra?"

Hera's voice was filled with anxiety.

"I'm in the air vent. No problem so far."

"Good" She replied sounding less tense. Ezra had half a mind to turn the comm off. They hadn't said it outright but they seemed not to trust him with anything. He'd survived on Lothal hadn't he? Stupid missions were the most important thing to the rebel's. This mission would do this. This mission would save this many supplies. Ezra couldn't help but feel hurt. They cared about missions more than they cared about him. But then again he wasn't sure if they cared at all. His throat tightened and his eyes watered a little. It had been a very long time since anyone had really cared about him. Ezra huffed a huge sigh trying to escape the truth of it all. Worrying about something that would never change wasn't going to help him. He needed to stop thinking so much.

"Everything Alright?"

Again Ezra rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, perfect."

Finally Ezra reached his destination. Pulling out a welding tool he cut out the venting panel. Kicking it down to the floor Ezra jumped down into the office. It was moderate in size and spartan in decor. There was a desk and several chairs and not much else. The room was partially dark making everything appear malicious. The sterile smell wafting up from all parts of the room did little to help with comfort.

"I'm in"

"Good you've got around twenty minutes till the Lieutenant returns with the visiting General."

"Gotcha"

Ezra grinned and walked forward slipping under the desk. He began attaching and setting up the bomb, a small but highly effective prototype they'd stolen from the empire several months ago.

"So why exactly are we killing this General Akshay guy again other than the fact that he's part of the Empire and all?"

Ezra grinned as he heard Hera sigh in frustration.

"I explained this to everyone when I was briefing for the mission."

"Yeah, well I was asleep. I only was awake for the part where you told me what I had to do."

Ezra bit his lip as he connected a particularly small wire.

"It may not be interesting but it is all very important to weakening the Empire and eventually taking them down"

Ezra frowned as the wire slipped out.

"Who decided that the stupid bomb had to be assembled onsite?"

The static crackled a bit more than usual and Ezra winced at the noise. "It's made from a very volatile substance. And since it's a prototype we didn't want to risk it being detonated or set off at the wrong time."

Ezra unconsciously gulped. Now he was feeling more badly about sleeping through the briefing.

"Alright, but still this is really annoying"

Finally the wire went in and Ezra's frown disappeared.

"Just hurry up and get out of there I've got a bad feeling"

Ezra got up brushing his pants.

"Don't worry I'm all done. The bomb will go off in three hours and forty five minutes blowing all Empire material sky high within a 40ft radius. They'll never see it com-" Ezra's voice died off. Just as Ezra was on the desk reaching for the vent the door had opened.

* * *

Ezra froze. There stood said General and Lieutenant. There was a pregnant pause as both parties stared at each other. Simply stunned and without any plan of action Ezra raised his hands as both men drew their guns leveling them at Ezra's chest.

"Who are you?" The gruff and menacing voice pulled Ezra out of his shock. Ezra cursed under his breath. Finally he'd gotten caught. His only chance was talking sweet until right before the bomb went off then he'd make a run for it. Yeah it was a pretty crappy plan but at the moment Ezra wasn't sure he could do any better than that.

"Camille" he swallowed hard wetting his lips. "Camille Pagry"

Without much hesitation the General then promptly shot Ezra.

Ezra blacked out for several seconds tumbling to the floor as all his sense left him. He couldn't breathe for a few seconds as his vision slowly cleared. Ragged gasps escaped him as he tried to gain his bearings. He heard multiple voices and with difficulty began to decipher them. Hera was yelling over the comm and the Lieutenant and General were talking. Despite the sinister sound of the General's voice and Hera's heightening panic Ezra ignored them. His breath was harsh as he struggled through the pain in both his leg and head. The pain hadn't been initial but now it was creeping up on him and he felt it seizing his mind. Hesitantly he reached up a hand to feel the hurt area on his head only to withdraw it fingers coated in blood. He blinked trying to assess it all. He'd been shot and the mission was a failure. A wave of displaced melancholy washed over him. Now the rebel group wouldn't need him. Then he became scared. He'd been caught. Caught in the worst possible act if they figured out he had planted a bomb. What did the empire do to terrorists again? He'd heard things that were coming back to him none of them were good.

He was jerked from this when a hand seized his shirt pulling him up.

"The kid looks barely older than my own son. Starting their brats early aren't they?"

Ezra didn't reply, throat dry with shock and fear. He was settled into a chair opposing the hands grasped his leg. He'd forgotten people bled so much. Nervously the Lieutenant shifted feet announcing that troops would be there in minutes and could then properly question the boy.

"That won't be necessary Lieutenant"

The Lieutenant froze. "Sir?"

"We'll question the boy here."

The Lieutenant nodded still hesitant. The Generals face loomed into Ezra's vision stiff and lined with age and cruelty.

"I'll ask you again now that you're in a more comfortable position. What is your name?"

Ezra frowned. What had he said before? After a pause Ezra answered.

"Camille Pagry"

The man frowned. "Wrong answer."

* * *

Hera was panicking. Ezra had stopped talking and then she'd heard him say a foreign name. Seconds later there was a gunshot. She'd heard his cry of pain and at that point she was screaming in the comm asking for him to answer. She would have thought he was dead if it weren't for the ragged gasps she could hear were coming from him. Jumping from her seat she raced from the cock pit yelling Kanan's name.

She'd known the mission was dangerous but compared to some of their other ones it was practically like walking down the street. The only thing she'd been uneasy about was having to send Ezra in there alone. She recalled the once persuasive reasons for the solo mission.

_"There just isn't anyway we're getting into that base unnoticed. Ezra's small and he can get about. it's perfect."_

_Kanan had argued. Hera frowned._

_"I just don't like sending him in there by himself. He's never done a mission all alone."_

_" I know that Hera. Don't you think I'm worried too? But this is the only way. General Akshay is vital leader in the weapons development for the Empire if we kill him we can set the Empire back years in it's research."_

_He looked imploringly at Hera but she didn't respond still unsure._

_"Just think of what happened to Zeb"_

_This worked like a charm. Hera's face fell her eyes looking away. She couldn't argue without that. The small risk of one life in the exchange of thousands and possibly millions. Kanan saw he face and knew he'd convinced her. With a reassuring smile he comfortingly set his hand on her forearm._

_"Ezra's very capable. He'll do fine"_

Why had she agreed with Kanan? Now Ezra was in the clutches of the empire injured and possibly dead. Tears rose to her face as she rushed towards the kitchen area. Kanan having heard her call came rushing over as soon as he saw her. His face was lined with worry.

"What happened? Is everything alright?"

Hera barely restrained herself as a flash of rage shot through her. Because no Ezra was not alright and Kanan had forced them to do this mission knowing that any support for Ezra was going to be a day away or more. They couldn't get any closer to the base and none of them had gone with Ezra because two bodies were easier to find then one small one.

"Ezra got caught. Our times were off and the General and Lieutenant showed up early."

Kanan's eyes widened and he paled slightly. Dazed he took it in. They had no way of getting to Ezra with out some intensive planning and within that time anything could happen.

"That's not all he was shot too"

This comment made Kanan's blood run cold. Ezra was hurt, alone, and to top it all off captured by the Empire. One mission and Kanan had pushed it sending a fifteen year old boy to put a volatile bomb in a heavily guarded place with no back up. If he had failed Ezra before then he had basically prepared the kid for the slaughter.

Swallowing down his feelings of guilt Kanan started devising a plan in his head.

"That bomb still has to go off doesn't it?"

Hera frowned not getting what he meant at first then her eyes dawned with understanding.

* * *

"We have three hours and twenty six minutes till the bomb goes off. When it does we'll use it as a distraction and get in through an area farther from the explosion. Hera will be staying on the ship with Chopper while Sabine you'll go and look in block 4b holding cells. I'll look in the other block and Zeb you'll be making your way back to the area of explosion just in case."

Kanan paused looking at his motley crew. He saw the worry, anger and guilt in all of their eyes. Each person sat or stood shoulders tense. This mission would be a lot more dangerous then the last one yet this wasn't what was worrying them. A little blue headed teen dead or severely injured was the focus of their thoughts.

"Alright we'll be taking off in two hours. Take the time to prepare yourself" with a curt nod he dismissed them.

Turning he made his way to his room trying not to let his emotions overcome him. He needed to meditate if he wanted to be levelheaded. Breathing deeply he dimmed his lights and sank to the floor. He closed his eyes folding his arms and legs while breathing deeply. Find the force he told himself. There is no emotion, there is peace. He breathed out. There is no emotion, there is peace. He took a deep breath in. Repeating this he felt the emotions ebb out of him. Peace. Just as he began to calm down his thoughts turned to Ezra. He didn't have peace despite Kanan trying to teach him it. He was always on edge as if a squadron of storm troopers would storm through the door at every second. When he wasn't as edgy he was suspicious and bitter. A jaded little boy. Kanan became sorrowful and felt guilty. The boy had grown up without a father or a mother. He'd been without family for so long. No one had cared for Ezra in a very long time. It was no wonder that the boy was the way he was. But how was Kanan supposed to help knew he should be teaching Ezra how to find peace. It was one of the most important parts of Jedi code. Complete peace with oneself and the world. The years on the streets alone had made a big block in Ezra against the force. It came to him but that was from raw power and not control. How could he help Ezra become a Jedi if he couldn't even teach him the basics let alone keep him safe. Kanan sighed putting his head into his hands. The meditating wasn't working.

* * *

Zeb was in his room as well cleaning his bo-rifle. Running the cloth up and down it he thought of Ezra. The stupid little brat that constantly got in his way. Also the kid that had saved his life and fought alongside him without hesitation. Zeb's jaw clenched, why was he so damn tense? It wasn't as if he cared or anything. He didn't give a spits worth if the kid was gone. In fact good riddance to the little heathen. Finally he'd get some rest. His hands faltered and he stopped cleaning his bo-rifle. If Ezra was hurt he would never be able to forgive himself. He couldn't kid himself, he cared about Ezra. The one who had shot Ezra was going to pay dearly.

* * *

Yeah I'm leaving it there. But never fear in the next chapter we'll get back to Ezra and we'll hear the Ladies side. Men can't have all the fun feeling guilty and worried. If anyone has any suggestions please leave them for me to read. As I said before I am a really spotty updater so please keep your expectations low as in floor level with all the little dust bunnies. I will make effort to update ofcourse. If you want review(that is me so totally not begging for a review). If any information is inaccurate forgive me I am human aren't I just tell me and I will take the effort to fix it. This is becoming a long and boring authors note and you know what I bet most of you won't even read it! Which is ok I ramble too much anyhow.


	2. Gahhh I made a second one

Yes I am back with a chapter. I'm glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you'll enjoy this one just as much or more. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the fact that you took the time to leave me a few words makes my day. As I said before and am saying again I may not update regularly or quickly I am very busy. I am a junior in high school and between AP classes, MESA, participation in multiple bands, Chess club, and acting as Stage manager for a play I don't usually have a lot of time. I really enjoy writing so that's why this is here. I want to say thank you again to those of you who left a review. I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave a message for me or a few tips. They make me a better writer and help me think more about what I'm writing. Also I am kinda AUing some of Kanan's past hopefully parts of this chapter will make up for some of the last chapter's plot holes.

* * *

Ezra's head snapped back as the man slapped Ezra hard in the face. Stars erupted in his eyes. His head lolled forward and Ezra let it rest there as he tried to breath through the fuzziness in his head. The man gripped Ezra's hair and roughly yanked his head up.

"What is your name?" the General hissed voice low and seething.

Struggling to fight his pain Ezra defiantly glared back loathing eyes meeting the cold and cruel ones of the general. There were several tense moments as both stared each other down noses only inches apart. The door slid open causing the moment to snap. Five storm troopers then flooded into the room. Slowly the General stood breaking eye contact to meet the inquiring soldiers. His expression was soured and he looked disgustedly at them.

"It's nice to see we have such a quick response team on this base" The general spoke sarcastically.

The men made no response other than an awkward incline of their heads. At this point the Lieutenant stepped forward. Nervously he cleared his throat.

"Recent orders have placed the majority of our men guarding our perimeters and entries. I informed them of our containing the breach. Haste seemed secondary to leaving their posts without proper communications"

The general turned his condescending eye on the Lieutenant making the man physically shrink back. A cold stone of silence fell created by the General's vehement glare.

"Very well Lieutenant"

He seethingly replied.

"I hope upon my further inspection I find the perimeters as well guarded as you've stated. Though I think it will come as a surprise in my report when I include our mysterious intruder in my detailed and weighty report."

The Lieutenant paled eyes growing wide as saucers in alarm. The General then turned to leave.

"Put the boy in the detention cells. We'll continue our conversation away from unnecessary disturbances. Of course after I have a discussion with the Lieutenant about the base's protocol. And don't forget to remove his ear piece. Track it. I want to find all the perpetrators."

"Yes Sir" The Lieutenant stuttered. He saluted as did the other troopers all of them stepping aside letting the General walk by and out of the office. Several men followed after acting as escorts. The door shut behind them and the pale Lieutenant let out a shaky breath. Turning to view Ezra he said

"Take this intruder to the detention cells as soon as you've placed and secured him report back to me."

The troopers saluted and walked over to haul Ezra off.

Ezra during this time had been very quiet and still. His leg throbbed and despite his hands being firmly pressed against it blood continued to leak out. The hits in the head weren't helping him much either and he found himself struggling to think clearly. Blood loss was obviously beginning to affect him and he was feeling weak and exhausted. During his bouts of clarity that lay between the for Ezra tried to come up with a solution to his predicament. He thought about trying to slip out when the storm troopers had entered but dismissed that idea because their attentive eyes had stayed on him and the general.

Ezra with all this happening was scared. Completely and unashamedly afraid. The General had shot him within seconds of seeing him and Ezra could only imagine spending hours being interrogated by the man. Ezra inadvertently shuddered as a chill went through him wen he heard the General's voice promise to continue their "talk". He wasn't sure if he was going to get out of this or not. He missed the crew and was finding himself craving Zeb's teasing and Hera's warm smile. Kanan and his strange talk about the force and Sabine's graffiti even sounded appealing to him. He desperately wanted some kind of comfort. Thinking this thought he immediately withdrew from it. They might not want him back for screwing up the mission. Not only that the Empire now had the ear piece. Hopefully Hera would catch on quickly and cut off the signal. Still Ezra's screw up had placed the entire crew in a plethora of emotions Ezra tightly shut his eyes trying to imagine a soft memory of him and his parents in the dry grass fields of Lothal on a picnic. It was the memory he always used to use when he went back to the abandoned house stomach shrunk from another day without food and heart heavy from the jeering and glares sent his way through out the day. Right now though he was having a hard time picturing the light breeze and joyful feelings of love and hope.

Before grabbing Ezra one of the troopers took out Ezra's ear piece and Lieutenant watched as the two remaining storm troopers lifted Ezra up by the arm pits and began dragging him out. Just as they left out the door the Lieutenant spoke noticing the bleeding increasing in Ezra's leg.

"Bandage his leg. We can't risk incurring General Akshay's wrath by letting the boy die."

The men nodded and continued moving dragging a stumbling and half walking Ezra with them. The Lieutenant no left by himself sand at his desk fearing for hi sjob after the General's threat in reply to the Lieutenant's explanation.

As the Men dragged Ezra along he felt the blood flow increase in the hole in his leg. Not helping was the pain being inflamed by the disturbance of the forced movement. As they roughly pulled him along it got worse and Ezra's head swam even more. Thinking suddenly of a plan Ezra began breathing more heavily. Stripped of energy and seeing an opportunity Ezra collapsed. The soldiers not expecting the dead weight let him fall to the ground. Ezra lay there eyesight blurred. He heard the soldiers shout at him several times but he ignored it trying to collect himself as he saw his chance coming.

As soon as the kid went limp the soldiers had released him in surprise. Looking at him they waited for him to get back up but he stayed there.

"Get up!" the first trooper barked. There was a short silence as they waited for him to respond.

"Get Up!" He yelled louder this time but still the kid didn't even stir. Fed up he crouched down to look at the kid. Without warning the kid kicked out with his good leg knocking the man down.

Scrambling to get the gun Ezra launched himself forward tearing the gun from the momentarily surprised Storm trooper. He whipped around and blindly fired at the other storm trooper both shooting at the same time. Ezra luckily was hit in the shoulder; sent sprawling back pain erupting from his shoulder. The other man less lucky then Ezra was hit directly in the chest by Ezra's desperate shot. He crumpled to the ground dead. The other man had recovered by now and tore his gun from Ezra's lax fingers.

Ezra squeezed his eyes shut at the new pain. It immobilized him and more precious blood was leaking out wasted by Ezra's reckless attempt to escape. His hand was clutched over the shoulder and he was cursing himself for trying to escape with every roll of pain. He was suddenly aware of his surroundings as he felt the gun pulled from him. He opened his eyes just in time to see the trooper bash him over the head with the but of his gun. Instantly Ezra was out.

The soldier breathing hard from adrenaline stepped back now that the immediate threat was displaced. He turned his eyes to his companion and saw the dead body. Silently swearing he called in back up to administer to the prisoner and finish the escort. The Lieutenant was not going to be happy. With this unpleasant thought came the thought of General Akshay. The trooper grew alarmingly pale behind his mask. This was not good.

* * *

Hera was seated in the cockpit mapping out the route to the base. To sneak in it would've taken at least a day maybe many more. However Kanan wasn't worried about stealth in this case. He wanted to blast in there and blast out. Timing would be tricky. They wanted to be dropped off several minutes after the bomb would go off. The pandemonium would be a perfect cover and the presence of their ship would be an afterthought. The effect of course would only last for a while and lucky for them the detention cells were far away from the center of attention, the unfortunate Lieutenant's office.

Hera sighed. It was risky but far better than trying to get in there without the bomb. There was the possibility that the bomb had been found but according to what Hera had stopped to listen to the Empire had no idea it was there. As soon as the ear piece had been taken away from Ezra she had disconnected it. Somehow it made her fell guilty despite it being necessary to keep the crew safe. It felt as if she was cutting off her only connection with Ezra at the moment. Sighing she set herself back to the task. Her mind however quickly began to wander again. Usually Kanan would have never agreed to sending Ezra off by himself. She remembered the mission at the academy where Kanan had literally going crazy not knowing if Ezra was ok. This mission was special to Kanan though. General Akshay had been one of the men involved in the destruction of the Jedi Order and ultimately the death of Kanan's master. It was what had made Hera less certain about this mission. Kanan didn't think clearly when motivated by emotion, it was what made the influence of the force so important to him. Now Ezra stood at a precipice. He could die because they had rushed the concoction of the mission.

Hera knew it was her fault too. She should have told Kanan that it was too risky that they should wait and hold off. General Akshay could be taken down another day. Her emotions unfortunately had blinded her too. She hated the Empire and anything seemed in the throes of anger a worthy and willing sacrifice. The guilt however was slowly ebbing her once stone determination. They had discovered the intel of General Akshay's visit only a day before and the gem of opportunity had shone too bright. Greed in making the Empire pay was now becoming a double-edged sword. Hera stopped and leaned her head against her hand. Ezra was paying for her and Kanan's lack of judgement. It was unspoken but everyone kept an eye out for Ezra trying to ensure his safety. His ability and talent did not cover up the fact that Ezra was still just a child. Hera's child, the whole crew's child. They had taken him in and they had decided making a decision that fateful day in the cockpit on whether or not he was worth it. And now she had just broken the very thing she had silently sworn when she had asked Kanan if Ezra could stay.

Sabine was in her room sorting her bombs. Carefully she laid them out and prepared them for the upcoming party crash. They were going to surprise the Empire with more than just one bomb. Her thoughts turned to Ezra as she picked up each thing and gently examined it. He was kinda like that annoying kid brother she had never had. The Empire had taken all her family from her. He was bothersome and rude and absolutely idiotic. She almost couldn't believe half the time that he was still trying to flirt with her. She thought back to the time right after Kanan and Ezra had returned from fighting the Inquisitor. He had been subdued and depressed. She remembered turning the old memory card in her hand considering when to give it to Ezra. It had taken her a while but seeing Ezra staring off into space she had felt inspired. Unlike inspiration she usually felt for art this was more soft and gentle. It was with a caring love and worry that she had handed it over to Ezra. And with a striking similarity to the contentment when she finished a painting she watched Ezra's eyes light up at the picture of his family. Gulping hard Sabine smiled. Ezra was her annoying kid brother and what the Empire had taken away her little motley crew had given back. Sometimes it felt really good to have a family. And right now one of the most important parts of that family needed help.

* * *

Ok I'm done with that chapter. I hope it satisfies you all just as much as the last. I think I'll try to update weekly but again as I said I'm not sure if that will be regular. Please leave me a review give me some sort of feed back and tell me what I'm doing wrong. I wanted to real quick send a thank you to Jillie Chan for her review I hope I cleared a few plot holes and though rough I hope the story got back some appeal.

Good Night! Or Good morning! Live long and prosper! And don't expect me till at least next Monday!


	3. This story might just be happening!

Yes I am back and I am alive! I hope you all like the new chapter. If you don't you'd better... or else... I enjoy veiled threats. Review blah blah blah disclaimer blah blah blah Magic and voila a chapter. I'm actually updating on time which is strange and unusual for me.. I can't promise that something strange won't happen and I'll stop writing. I think I'm updating early in fact... not sure if I'm sick or if it's another dimension... Might be both. Well enjoy the chapter, I wrote some in Sabine's point of view I hope it doesn't suck to much or seem like invasion of the bodysnatchers. Hopefully Sabine will sound like Sabine. Heck hopefully all the characters sound like themselves

* * *

Ezra woke to a mraid of pains; both physical and emotional. Groggily looking around Ezra found himself in a darkly lit cell. It was small and completely bare being at most and empty 8' by 8' room. The sharp pains in Ezra's shoulder and leg made him reach his hands out to try to assess the exact amount of damge and what he might have to do to staunch the bleeding. To his surprise his cold fingers brushed soft white bandages. Seems the General wanted Ezra alive enough to question. The soldiers had wrapped both his shoulder and leg. However they had let his head alone determining he supposed that it wasn't life threatening. Dried blood had stiffened partially on his head and completely on his orange jumpsuit. Being dirty wasn't considered life threatening he guessed. A mixture of the sticky liquid had run down his forehead congealing and crusting to become irritating patches all along his scalp and head. Who knew bleeding could be so annoying.

Stiff, hurting and still woozy Ezra pushed himself up into a more upright position. Wondering despairingly about how the events had snowballed into a catastrophe Ezra ran a hand through his hair avoiding the injured and swollen part of his head. He huddled into the corner trying to save body heat and to help stymie the flood of emotions running through him. He tucked his head into his arm as feelings of hopelessness still assailed him. It felt too much like being on the streets hurt and cold curling into a corner for warmth when he had been to tired or injured to travel home. He'd failed as he had then except now it was more than just a loaf of bread or some fruit it was mission against the Empire where he had people that he cared about immensely depending on him. They made him feel less lonely and to let them down he feared would spell his ultimate banishment to being abandoned back on Lothal knowing that he wasn't wanted. He'd failed though and already he could see Kanan's face first filled with anger and frustration and eventually sadness and disappointment. Ezra was only doing too good a job at proving Kanan's words. He wasn't focused enough, not disciplined enough to be a jedi. The first time they entrust him with a solo mission he screwed it up. Ezra curled in tighter throat constricting. He squeezed his eyes shut. He was a complete failure. Tears began to well up against his will. Shaking his head he forced them back. Tears would get him nowhere. They only served to make fate kick you all the harder. Yet his mind couldn't help the unbidden images rising to his thoughts. Kanan shaking his head with disappointment, Hera frowning, scolding herself for making the mistake of taking Ezra in-for going back for him. The rest of the crew was harsher. Zeb's face snarling in contempt while Sabine looked on in disgust with Chopper mocking Ezra. Why did Ezra have to be so useless. Nobody wanted someone who was useless. No one wanted Ezra.

Biting his lip hard to keep the emotions at bay Ezra's eyes hardened. It was his fault he was in here so he was going to get himself out. Ezra unfolded himself and with effort forced his numb hand to look in his pockets. He had the nuts and bolts in one of them and a small multipurpose tool. On it was a laser cutter, small and weak but still capable of cutting through metal. An idea hit Ezra. He knew enough about Empire doors, he could figure out where the panel of circuitry was located. It may not be accessible on hi side of the door but maybe he could cut through and short circuit the opening system. Then it would be a matter of getting some leverage and sliding the door open. With a small smile and some hope restored Ezra dragged his battered and protesting body over to the door. Slender fingers quickly set to work trembling from the cold and exhaustion. Nothing would stop Ezra from fixing the situation. He would ensure the General was killed even if Ezra had to shoot the man himself.

* * *

Time had passed painstakingly slow but finally the time arrived. Everyone stood tensely in front of Hera knowing they were minutes away from the new and secondary mission.

"Alright everyone" Hera addressed them.

"I know we briefed earlier but I want to go back over it real quick. Ezra's injured. We don't know to what extent so make sure each of you has a basic medical kit. Extensive medical work won't be possible but since we don't know his condition it might be critical to his survival that some medical attention be given." Hera paused as a few terse nodds were given. Sabine stepped forward a little.

"How do we know he isn't already dead?" The room became silent as everyone refrained from answering the question weighing heavily on each of their minds.

"We don't" Hera said seriously "But we are going to find him and bring him back no matter what happened." Her eyes flashed with steel and determination. Sabine cast her eyes down to avoid the look from Hera.

"You guy's have half and hour. By then I will have TIE fighters on my butt and who knows what else. Go in, find Ezra, and bring him back."

* * *

Kanan, Sabine, and Zeb entered the dock area armed and ready. Anxiously they stood there waiting. Every passing minute almost seemed to grate upon their nerves. With every second Ezra could be closer to death. Kanan didn't have to look to see the serious expressions on his teams faces, it showed in the way they stood, their lack of speech. Ezra had been with them a while now and if personal ties weren't enough yet then the fact that Ezra was a part of their team was good enough. The only reason they survived was by having each others backs.

Approaching the base Sabine was anxious. She slipped her hand down brushing fingers lightly across her gun to check if it was there. Her bombs, her gun, they were what she depended on in battle and general life. With them she could save Ezra. She nearly smiled under her helmet. Weapons fixed everything for her; weapons and paint.

Hera's voice crackled over the comms

"Ready specters?"

The doors opened to the question revealing a 10 foot drop for Sabine, Kanan, and Zeb to make. Crouching Sabine watched Kanan jump and roll using the force to protect him from the impact. Zeb leaped forward his large body landing with a quiet thump. Breathing in deeply Sabine crouched launching herself from the ship. Gracefully she rolled popping back onto her feet.

Kanan turned to face them. "Alright rendezvous here. Make it 25 minutes. If you find Ezra call it in to us."

Sabine nodded in reply turning to run off without taking time to look back. She took off towards a door quickly beginning to hack through it's code. She thanked some higher being as she saw smoke rising for a part of another building. The troopers weren't anywhere near the detention center. All of them too worried about one little General. Not that Kanan had been any better. She'd never seen him push a mission that much. She wondered if the taught "Haste makes waste" in Jedi training. Kanan had probably missed that lesson. Sabine smiled in satisfaction as the door opened showing the per usual white halls that adorned every Empire building and ship. You'd think ruling the galaxy would've given them some sense of interior design or at least opened them up to the fact that there was such a thing as color.

Sabine blanched at the plain boring existence without color. White, white, white ... oooh some grey. And look at that, they got bold, it's a dark grey. Every time Sabine saw something to do with the empire she remembered why she had gotten away from it.

Sabine was about to turn a corner down the hall when she skidded to a stop, the sound of troopers pounding feet causing her to press up against the wall. She held her breath as they ran past oblivious of her. Likely headed off to the fire she thought. Letting the breath out she kept going. Finally she reached the area she was looking for. Numbered doors lined the hallway- all of them that she could see were marked empty. She walked slower, eyes trailing across each colorless door looking for a sign of a prisoner. She reached the end and paused. There it was the one and only occupied room.

"Specters one and four I've located specter six."

"Good job Sabine. Zeb and I will head over there now."

Tapping the control panel on the door Sabine frowned when it didn't respond. Was the door down. She knew it was still locked but for whatever reason the system was unresponsive. Biting her lip she tried again. Again the panel remained inactive. Frowning deeper Sabine smacked it with her fist. Nothing happened like she had thought. At least it was worth a try she thought. She fished her hands into a pocket. She had just the thing to break the unruly door. Pulling out a small waxy substance she placed it on the door panel. As she was about to pull the small explosive from her pocket she stopped. If Ezra was near the door he might get hurt. Stepping back a few feet she drew her gun. Firing several shots she prayed no one besides herself and Ezra would hear them. Eyes avoiding the new black scorch marks on the door she placed the small round marble sized explosive against the wax letting it adhere it to the door. She took a couple steps back and turned to avoid the flash.

* * *

Ezra had been working away but the tool had shortly given out only doing about half the ob. Without giving up Ezra started jabbing the point of the tool into the area he had cut through partially. It wasn't working. Frustrated Ezra slammed it into the area until it broke. With a loud cry Ezra slumped against the door. Curling into himself he wrapped his good arm around his stomach shivering as chills ran through him. He couldn't remember how it had gotten so cold. Ezra tried pushing it away. He felt so trapped, confined until someone came to beat him for answers to questions he didn't know anything about. Hera and Kanan had never seen fit to tell him anything about the mysterious fulcrum. He was going to die for something he didn't even know. Having exhausted himself and his motivation Ezra closed his eyes sleep causing them to grow heavy. He was very tired. Just as they slid shut he was jerked awake when he heard the distinctive sound of shots going off against his door. Surprised he flung himself to the far wall. Moments later there was an explosion.

* * *

Sabine turned back once the miracle had worked it's magic. Having blown off the control panel a small hole now stood where the faulty panel had. Peeking and eye through Sabine saw Ezra. He looked awful pale and covered in blood he was curled in a corner eyes wide and frightened staring at where the bomb had just gone off. Pushing the door open with effort Sabine practically ran into the room. She started to check over the boy in shock. He had two bandages already, one on his shoulder the other on his leg. Once the immediate dangers were gone Sabine looked up at Ezra.

"Ezra are you alright? Is there any pain anywhere else besides you head, shoulder and leg?"

Still stunned Ezra just stared at Sabine.

"Ezra" Sabine said his name frustrated. Finally coming to himself he answered.

He shook his head no.

"Can you walk?"

Ezra paused and again shook his head. Sighing Sabine frowned. That wasn't good she would have to wait for Zeb and Kanan. She'd been lucky so far in avoiding troopers but she wasn't sure she would keep up the streak. Looking at Ezra again she focused more. His eyes were glazed over and dazed. Putting two together she figured he must have a concussion. Mixed with his pale complexion and abundance of wounds he had probably lost quite a bit of blood. Standing up she looked out the room head turning both ways to check for troopers. So far so good. Now to keep and eye on Ezra.

* * *

Kanan was sprinting down the hallway head turning back every so often to fire at the pursuing troopers. Unlike Sabine he had been less lucky, a lot less lucky. Sabine's news was great. She hadn't said anything about how Ezra was but Kanan was just glad he had been found. Bursting out the door into the area between he saw Hera's ship already being pursued by TIE fighters. He cursed they needed to leave now. The door shut and Kanan took the opportunity of the troopers loss of vision on him by using the force to jump onto the roof. Landing he lay down to avoid their prying eyes. Several troopers burst out spreading out to find Kanan. He watched them run off only a few going into the building where Sabine was. He pursued them slipping through the door just before it closed. Drawing his gun he shot them both watching with satisfaction as they crumpled to the ground. He then sprinted off in the direction toward the cells. Rounding a corner he was surprised to see an unconscious Ezra draped in Zeb's arms with Sabine running by his side. He turned to begin running with them.

"How'd you get there faster then me?" Kanan asked eyebrow cocked.

"Your just getting slow Kanan." Zeb replied.

Bursting out the door all four of the specters were met by troopers. Dodging to the side they took cover and began firing.

"Specter two we have specter six. Come in for pick up." Kanan yelled into the comm. Seconds later Hera replied.

"Just give me a second."

Within moments the Ghost swooped down shooting at and eliminating the troopers. Opening the door the ship hovered there waiting for them to dock. All three of them ran to it sprinting with their lives depending on it. Once on the doors shut and Hera sped off.

Breathing harshly from adrenaline they all sank back leaning against the walls. Zeb looked down at Ezra and his face became serious. Kanan now being able to pay attention leaned in to examine his padawan.

"Why is he unconscious did you find him that way?" Kanan queried worry lacing his voice. Zeb shook his head moving towards the medbay.

"I got there when he was still awake. He ended up freaking out and threw up. " Zeb's voice sounded subdued.

"He passed out after that and I grabbed him."

Kanan nodded. Zeb laid Ezra down on one of the beds.

"It looks like they had him for days." Kanan whispered anger and sorrow welling up. The Empire was cruel and Kanan had failed Ezra. None of this would have happened if he hadn't rushed the whole thing. He had forgotten that Ezra was till a child. Looking at his limp form it hit Kanan hard. Sighing and closing his eyes he ran a hand through his hair. Zeb stood and watched face etched with a frown.

"We have him back now Kanan. That's what matters. We'll fix him up before you know it he'll be on his feet."

* * *

Hey y'all I hoped you liked it. Please review! As in leave me a review NOW! You know as I've looked over my chapters it seems like I have an obsession with breathing. I mean Ezra is always breathing because of this and that and all the rest of the crew is sighing. Maybe I have a subconscious interest in the respiratory system... hmmm the workings of the world are strange.

As I said before leave me tips I will listen, I may be lazy or not listen to them completely but I will listen and try to make the necessary changes. Hope nobody was to OOC. The throwing up thing is weird but Idk I would throw up after all that. Sometimes I just throw up because I had a test. Which reminds me I just took the SAT today and it was a nightmare. Three hours! Three stinking hours of sitting! I am ADD I do not like sitting unless I am writing or doing something else I like. Anywho thanks for listening to me rant hopefully I'll have a new chapter up soon!


	4. I'M Alive!

I told you I was a spotty updater. Well I'm back and thanks to all who remembered this story and keep reading and thank you to all the new people who have jumped in.

* * *

Everything felt warm and fuzzy, it contrasted so heavily with what he'd been expecting. No crazy sadistic general or leeching cold, Ezra guessed he had died. His senses slowly came back and Ezra's nose recognized the homey smell of his blankets. So maybe he wasn't dead. Eyes flickering open Ezra took in the ceiling. It was most definitely his room. How he'd gotten back here he didn't know. Maybe it had been a horrible dream. However as Ezra tried to raise himself up pain laced through his shoulder reminding him that everything had truly happened. He fell back down with a grunt and closed his eyes breathing through the quickly fading pain. A fuzzy head popped into view eyes creased in worry.

"You awake?" Zeb's voice was soft and worried. It was so out of character Ezra would've laughed if he hadn't been so tired.

"mmm" was his elaborate reply. Zeb grinned.

"I thought you might say that. Alright well sleep well just wake me if you're in pain"

Zeb gently patted Ezra on the arm and disappeared. From the following sounds Ezra could tell that Zeb had laid down.

Ezra frowned at the strangeness of the whole situation but succumbed to his body's need to sleep.

* * *

General Akshay stood over him eyes gleaming in malicious hate.

"You'll regret ever meeting me Ezra Bridger" He brought his gun out shooting Ezra in the stomach. Ezra fell to the floor blood pouring out, a few moments of shock passed as with wide eyes Ezra stared at the new hole in his body. Suddenly an overwhelming pain overtook him and he screamed.

Zeb woke up to Ezra's screams. Jumping from the bed he stood just as Ezra rolled off the bed body quickly meeting the cold floor of the room. Zeb knelt cursing under his breath as he saw blood leaking through Ezra's pajamas. The stupid kid had probably broken his stitches in his shoulder from the fall. Scooping up the ailing teenager Zeb laid him on his own bed. The boy was still in the throes of his nightmare and was thrashing about. One of his arms flailed and smacked Zeb right in the nose. Rubbing his nose in irritation Zeb tried to wake Ezra.

"Ezra" the boy made no response his eyes screwed shut his face pale and sweaty.

"Ezra!" he said it a little louder. Still no response. He heard the door open and the smacking of feet as Sabine ran in looking in worry at the undoubtedly sick Ezra. Zeb ignored her and tried again to rouse Ezra. He gently shook him saying his name again.

"no, no...no!" Ezra struggled against a phantom enemy. More people entered room and Zeb felt Kanan's hand fall onto his shoulder.

"Stop... please!" Ezra sobbed. Zeb's heart hurt when Ezra said that. He wished he could wake him up. Kanan motioned Zeb aside partially and laid a hand on Ezra's head. Ezra immediately relaxed his body becoming limp. Zeb straightened Ezra out on the bed and pulled the blankets over him. All members of the Ghost stood in Ezra's room each of them tense and worried. Kanan turned to them.

"That should stop his nightmares for now, but it won't hold them off. Until Ezra feels safe they'll keep coming back."

No one said anything for several moments.

Zeb finally moved.

"He broke his stitches I'll take care of that." He moved over to Ezra with a gauze and bandages. Everyone looked on in a morbid silence as Zeb wrapped Ezra's shoulder.

"We have to do something about this, Ezra isn't going to get better if something doesn't happen." Sabine said looking at everybody a challenge written in her body stance.

"What do you suggest? We can't drop him off somewhere and let someone else take care of him." Zeb said heatedly.

"If it's the best thing for Ezra that might be exactly what we need to do" Hera said.

The room fell into a heavy silence again.

"You don't mean that Hera... Kanan you can't agree with that" Zeb said.

Kanan looked away eyes watering.

"We-I didn't take care of him. We need to think about what Ezra needs."

Sabine looked at Kanan incredulously "But you're his master!?" she gasped "How can he become a jedi without you?!"

"I know... but we can't keep doing this. Risking him. I thought it was a good idea when we took him in, but you two were right this isn't what we should be doing"

Zeb and Sabine were flabbergasted.

"You know what, we're not deciding anything now. We're going to go to bed and talk about this in the morning."

Everyone nodded at Hera and the occupants began shuffling out of the room. Zeb looked at Ezra. For once the boy looked peaceful. He sighed, it was probably safer to just let the boy stay on the bottom bunk. Pulling a chair up Zeb sat down resting his head in his hands. It had been several days since they had brought Ezra out of the Empire's compound and the entire time Ezra had been unconscious. It left everyone in horrible moods. Everyone was feeling guilty or happily pointing fingers. There were too many if only's passing around and with each day Ezra stayed delirious the insanity grew. Zeb really hoped everyone would just calm down and let everything go back to normal. He knew what it was like to lose a home and he understood that if they stayed like this even after Ezra woke up Ezra would not get better any faster. Normal was what Ezra needed. Everyone to just act like their usual stable selves. He sighed and leaned back in the chair.

* * *

Lookie at that people I'm not dead. I hope it wasn't too weird or out of character... Hera and Kanan didn't seem quite right but I figured it would give me some sort of angsty plot that I can work with. Ezra isn't out of trouble quite yet.


	5. Capitulo Cinco

Here I am trying to ensure that I finish this story for the sakes of all my readers and for my own sanity. :)

* * *

When Ezra woke the second time he was in much less pain and was much less confused. Despite him being in his room he noticed with some vague confusion that he was in the lower bunk, Zeb's bed. Blinking open his eyes Ezra looked around the room. There was an empty chair pulled up to his bed but other than that it looked like it always did. Ezra sat up wincing as the movement pulled at his injured shoulder.

He sat like that for a while trying to think about what he should do now. His stomach rumbled and Ezra looked down at it. Food. Up until that moment he hadn't noticed how hungry he was. Ezra slipped his legs off the bed and tried to stand up. His leg pulsed in pain as he placed weight on it and Ezra fell back onto his bed breathless and slightly dizzy. Maybe food wasn't such a great idea after all. Ezra huffed out a sigh and laid back down pulling the covers over himself. He stared at the ceiling of his bed not knowing what to do. So many questions were bouncing around in his head. What had happened since the team had saved him? Were they mad? Had the General been killed? He hoped that General Akshay was dead. Not just for the mission's purpose but because maybe knowing would make all the dreams go away. He couldn't remember much about the nightmares after they happened. They were all fuzzy and unclear but every single one of them involved General Akshay.

Ezra shivered. It haunted him almost as much as his times on the street. That man's cruel smile. Ezra really hoped that he had been blown to bits.

"Ezra?"

Ezra turned to look at Hera. He hadn't noticed when she had walked in. She was looking at him eyes tender and worried.

"How are you?"

Ezra shrugged as Hera sat down in the chair right next to the bed. Hera looked at Ezra closely, studying him. He looked tired and sad. Hera's heart ached. Maybe the Ghost wasn't the place Ezra should be. He could be somewhere else somewhere safer. The rebel base had places for refugees many of them people who had lost family and would be willing to take in an orphan boy. They could take care of him and keep him safer than she and Kanan ever could. It hurt to think about but it seemed like the best thing for Ezra. She thought about the rebellion and how it important it was to have as many people as possible on their side especially jedi. Ezra was on his way to being a jedi and to continue with his training would make the rebellion all the more stronger. Before the Ghost crew and even during her time on it fighting the empire was always her top priority. Sure she cared about all those that she worked with but when it came to weakening the empire she would give up everything.

Things had changed somehow. When Ezra had first joined their crew she had seen an opportunity, a young boy with no one who had the capacity to become a jedi. It had seemed at the time a win-win situation. Save a kid and gain an amazing fighter for the rebellions cause. A new Jedi would be an incredible asset and as far as she could see it would draw Kanan back into accepting who he was and becoming a Jedi master. It had seemed like a great plan and so far it had worked well. But then she'd become attached to Ezra. He was innocent and cynical in a way that was endearing and heart-breaking. He could be resourceful and smart but also silly and immature. He was like the child she never got to have. The empire had taken the ones she loved from her yet Ezra had replaced that.

Sighing Hera saw Ezra draw into himself. He was staring at the ceiling now not looking at her.

"Ezra."

He turned to look at Hera.

She was about to say something but stopped herself. Instead she smiled softly.

"You must be hungry."

Ezra grinned and nodded his head. He was absolutely famished.

"Alright well since your leg is still trying to heal I'll make you something until I get back I'll have Zeb come give you some company. Your thoughts can go crazy if you're left alone too long"

Hera smiled again and headed out the door. Ezra looked back at the ceiling of the top bunk. The metal was plain and boring but it somehow helped Ezra to think. Hera had seemed different. She looked sad. Ezra had learned to read people pretty well from being on the street. Hera's expression reminded him too much of the kind well meaning people who left him food but then turned around and went to the empire. They didn't seem to understand that the empire didn't care and they thought that they were helping. Hera looked to much like someone who was contemplating on doing something she thought would be for the greater good. That scared Ezra. Maybe the General hadn't died...maybe Hera didn't think he could do his job. Ezra started to freak out but made himself calm down. Freaking out about something that hadn't even happened and probably wouldn't would do Ezra no good.

For the second time since Ezra had woken up a person walked into the room without him knowing. Zeb rather than saying something just went and sat down in the chair.

"Hey kid"

Ezra jumped at the voice and turned wide-eyed to look at Zeb. Zeb raised his hands in mock surrender equally surprised.

"Hey Hey didn't mean to scare ya."

Ezra smirked at Zeb

"Don't know how you snuck in here you're so big and hairy"

Zeb strangely didn't get riled up but instead smiled

"That I am"

Zeb relaxed back into the chair and much like Hera studied Ezra.

"So how are you feeling?"

Ezra frowned. If everyone was going to be asking him the same question he was going to flip out. It's not like he'd died or something. And Zeb's behavior was downright weird. Everyone was freaking him out and he'd seen less than half the crew.

"I'm fine"

Zeb looked at him disbelievingly.

"You're fine? This little snot nosed kid says he's fine! You can't even walk!"

Ezra grinned at Zeb's response. This seemed a little more normal. Hera walked in to see the two arguing just like usual and she smiled shaking her head. She left the food and then exited leaving them to continue their interaction which seemed to be cheering Ezra up. Walking out she headed toward the cockpit. She needed to talk to Kanan.

"Hey Hera"

Kanan said his eyes glancing quickly over to her. He sat in the pilot's seat not doing particularly much considering they were on auto-pilot.

"Run into any big bad empire ships?"

Kanan looked over at her witheringly.

"Nope. The course you plotted avoids all that"

Hera looked at him more seriously.

"What are you doing in here Kanan?"

Kanan didn't look at her or respond. His hands tightened on the controls he was holding.

"You know what happened with Ezra wasn't your fault right?"

Kanan finally looked at her.

"He almost died Hera. He would've if we had gotten there any later. He's my student and he could've died. How can I teach him to be a Jedi when I can't even keep him alive."

"I know, but it was my fault too. Ezra needs a family. This mission isn't the only one that's bothering me and it most definitely isn't your fault."

Hera sat down her face serious and filled with emotion.

"I want Ezra to be safe."

Hera paused struggling to say it.

"But I think we should leave him with a rebel family until he's old enough to continue Jedi training."

Neither said anything for a while. Kanan ran a hand through his hair.

"I think... I think that that might be best."

Both nodded slowly. It was a hard decision but both of them cared about Ezra like he was their own child and guilt was making them think more irrationally.

* * *

"So what happened?" Ezra asked finally getting serious after laughing his head off about some prank Chopper had pulled on Kanan.

Zeb grew serious too looking sadly at Ezra.

"Well we went in seconds after the explosion using it as a diversion. Sabine found you in one of the prison cells and me and Kanan brought you out. You've been unconscious for a while, three days to be exact, we've uh-well... we've been waiting for you to wake up."

"Oh"

Ezra looked down at his hands. They'd all been worried then? At least it looked like Zeb had been real worried. Maybe they weren't mad about his screwing up on the mission. But that didn't make sense. They all hated the Empire, especially Zeb, and they were upset whenever any mission got botched. Heck even Ezra was mad at himself for screwing the mission up. That was the purpose of it all to take down the Empire everything else was secondary. Ezra loved it, he felt like he had purpose. Before he had joined the crew of the Ghost he had had no purpose except survival. Painful and difficult survival. Now he had a family of sorts people that surrounded him and made him feel like he meant something. He couldn't mess that up.

"Hey you feeling alright? Not in any pain right?"

Ezra snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head. Zeb was staring at him in worry and it was weird, not a bad weird.

* * *

Hey hope you all like this chapter and don't worry it will speed up a little in the action.


	6. APOCALYPSE! JFK

Lately my chapters have been a little bit shorter but I've been trying to just get my stuff out there if you know what I mean. I hope you enjoy this chapter. This one should have a little more action. Familial angst among the ghost crew is about to explode. Stuff is going down... At least I hope it is. I'm making up more backstory by the way. I have no idea if Zeb was married and had a kid or not but hey it's already AU why not make it AU even more.

I disclaim all rights I have to to characters... actually screw that I'm kidnapping them all and forcing them to live in my basement. I'll start an new business venture. Anyone that wants to meet the characters it's a five dollar charge for a tour of the basement. 10 dollars for two minutes alone with any character.

Jeez I sound sadistic...actually I kinda am Sadistic...

* * *

Zeb had been in the middle of talking about his home planet when he looked over and noticed that Ezra had fallen asleep. Stopping he smiled and pulled the blankets up to cover Ezra. Ezra looked so much more peaceful in his sleep, you could almost picture him as an innocent kid. It was strange, but somehow Ezra reminded him of his own little boy. The empire had stolen away everything he had. Everything. Ezra was one of the only people he'd spoken to about his home planet and the family he'd lost. And Ezra was the only one he could talk to about them with happiness. The whole reason he had started to talk about it was because you could only argue and tease for so long. When he'd mentioned his family passingly Ezra had perked up eyes curiously watching to see if Zeb would say more. Zeb was aware that Ezra wasn't feeling completely fine and what would it hurt to occupy Ezra's mind with stories and anecdotes?

Zeb walked out of the room happy that for the first time Ezra's face was smooth and unmarred by nightmares or pain. Not expecting anybody to be there Zeb nearly walked right into Sabine.

"Woah! Sorry Sabine"

"That's ok" Sabine responded sounding unusually subdued.

Zeb looked at her strangely.

"What're ya doing right outside our door anyhow?"

Sabine didn't look at Zeb instead choosing to fold her arms and stare to Zeb's left.

"How's Ezra?" she said gruffly.

"He's fine. Just fell asleep but you should still visit him. He sleeps better when someone's in the room. Nightmares don't bug him as much."

Sabine looked at the floor guiltily.

"Hey you know it's not anybody's fault, what happened, mistakes happen. People get hurt, it's part of fighting the Empire."

Sabine barely nodded her gaze still on the floor.

"Hey" Zeb said laying a hand on Sabine's shoulder.

"If you feel bad just go in and be with him. He'll appreciate the company even if you don't think he can tell."

Sabine finally looked up and tried for a small smile.

"Sure, yeah, I'll go"

Zeb shook his head and headed up towards the kitchen. Weird kid that Sabine was. Grabbing an aurilian fruit Zeb headed over to the cock pit planning to talk to Kanan about the supplies run they'd be making in the next week or so. They'd run out of h'nemthe yams and Zeb was starting to crave them. He stopped right outside the door however as he heard Hera and Kanan's voices both serious and full of emotion.

"But I think we should leave him with a rebel family until he's old enough to continue Jedi training"

Zeb's eyes widened. How could they? Ezra was theirs and there was no way they should ever be planning on dumping him anywhere. There had been a pause but then Kanan responded to Hera's suggestion.

"I think...I think that might be best."

Zeb was shocked. They'd both just agreed to dump the little brat's butt with some family. That was ridiculous. Emotion overflowing Zeb's rationale Zeb burst into the cockpit.

"What do you mean you think it might be best?!"

Both Hera and Kanan looked up shocked.

"You want to just get rid of Ezra?!"

Still stunned neither responded.

"What makes you think getting rid of Ezra is going to make anything better?!"

* * *

Sabine had walked into the room and was relieved to find that Ezra was fast asleep. Walking over she tried to sit down but somehow she missed the chair and ended up tumbling to the ground knocking the chair over in the process. Ezra shot up eyes shooting around the room looking for the source of the noise. He remembered Zeb's stories and then... He must have fallen asleep or something because Zeb wasn't in the room and a sheepish Sabine now sat on his floor. Confused Ezra bent over the bed a little to look at her.

"What're you doing on the floor?" He was genuinely interested. Sabine was cool and beautiful and everything she did had a purpose. He just couldn't figure out why Sabine would be on the floor.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sabine answered glaring at Ezra. Her cheeks however flushed with embarrassment which betrayed her caustic voice. Ezra looked at her funny and laid back down. Frowning Sabine stood up and righted the chair. Looking at Ezra, now wide awake thanks to her, she hesitated. She'd been about to leave but some part of her guilt held her back and she sat down in the chair.

Ezra looked at her expectantly waiting for her to say something but Sabine stared back blankly. Now nervous Ezra started to fiddle with his blanket.

"So uh, what are you doing?" Ezra asked lamely.

"Sitting here" Ezra flushed in embarrassment at the unstated duh.

There was pause before Sabine spoke.

"So how're you doing?"

"Fine" Ezra responded quickly.

Sabine nodded awkwardly.

"So Zeb's been taking care of you?"

Ezra nodded.

"Yeah he's actually been real nice. He was just telling me stories about his home planet and his family. He sounds like he really loved them. It's cool." Ezra paused.

"You know the family thing. He really loved them."

Sabine nodded sadly. The Empire. Why was life so bitter to them? What had they ever done to deserve the plate that fate had served them?

Sabine cleared her throat. "Sooo..."

Sabine ran a hand through her hair.

"How's it been staying in your room for so long?"

Ezra's face immediately formed into a pout.

"Sucks"

Sabine grinned. "I bet"

Ezra glared at her. "Don't rub it in"

Sabine laughed at Ezra's face but then suddenly was struck with a brilliant idea.

"Hey how about we go and visit Kanan up in the cock-pit?"

"We can do that?" Ezra asked face alight with hope.

Sabine grinned again. "'Course we can. I can give you one of Zeb's guns to use as a crutch, if we bring a blanket to keep you warm and you're sitting down I don't see how they can complain."

Ezra for the first time since Sabine had seen him gave an honest to goodness real smile. Sabine grabbed one of Zeb's guns and after an awkward shuffle Ezra ended up with the gun propped under his armpit as support and Sabine on the other side hands hovering nearby in case Ezra fell over. With happy giddiness at doing something that might not be legal under Hera's mother hen laws Ezra and Sabine headed towards the cockpit. Nearing it Ezra was surprised to hear Zeb yelling. Sabine stopped frowning. Maybe going to the cockpit wasn't such a great idea. Stepping several steps ahead of Ezra Sabine paused right outside the open door both of the rule breaking spectres listening intently to Zeb's yells.

"What do you mean you think it might be best?!"

Ezra frowned at Zeb's words. What was he talking about?

"You want to just get rid of Ezra?!"

Ezra physically recoiled. Kanan had been thinking about getting rid of him. He'd been sure that after his parents death Ezra would never have his heart hurt that bad but he'd been wrong. It felt like someone had just twisted a knife into it. Every single little nagging thought he'd had was true.

"What makes you think getting rid of Ezra is going to make anything better?!"

Ezra's eyes started to prickle with tears. Some things never changed. No one, not even the Empire's most hated wanted him.

"Zeb you don't understand this is for the best."

Ezra was even more horrified to hear Hera's voice. He'd thought that maybe yeah Kanan might not want him around since he wasn't very good with the whole Jedi thing but Hera didn't want him either. It felt like his entire world was crushing in on him. Feeling like he couldn't breath Ezra was hit with an overwhelming need to get away. Turning around he sprinted down the hallway injured leg forgotten. He tried to blink back tears that were blurring his vision. He headed towards the one place that he knew none of them would find him. It was a little utility closet that he hid in when he needed some time to himself. Throwing the door open Ezra scrambled in and slammed the door shut.

He curled up on himself trying to tuck himself into the corner. He couldn't help but sob. It hurt so bad. He'd trusted them. He'd cared for them and it hadn't been enough. He'd tried so so hard to do well, he'd given up most of his stealing he'd fought past intense panic attacks at being stuck in one place for so long he'd changed his life to join them. Jeering taunts that had haunted them since they'd been uttered came back. _Disgusting Street rat. Pathetic creature._ People had thrown those names at him as if there was no other being they'd met that was so loathsome. _The empire should be ridding the streets of vermin like these._ Even people who hated the Empire felt the same way.

* * *

Sabine was shocked to hear those Zeb's shouts and completely forgot about the sick teenager she'd been accompanying. Zeb started to back out of the room Hera following him trying to placate the angry Lasat. Both noticed Sabine however and looked at her.

"What are you doing here Sabine?"

Sabine still slightly speechless gaped at them. "I.. well uh.. I was with Ezra I thought he might want to see-"

Sabine stopped as she turned to look at Ezra and instead saw an empty hallway.

"He was just right here."

Kanan now appeared and both him and Hear looked clearly worried.

"Did he hear everything?"

Sabine just shook her head no at Kanan's question.

"We only heard Zeb's yelling."

Hera and Kanan shared a look.

"Guys we need to find Ezra, now."

Zeb glared at Hera and Kanan.

"Yeah we do now don't we."

The two had the decency to looked slightly ashamed at Zeb's accusatory tone.

* * *

**Ok well stuff just got real guys. So what do you think will happen will Kanan and Hera still want to get rid of Ezra for his well being?**

**I hope you like the chapter and if you feel up to it leave a nice little review. And yes I am a terribly unashamed person and I will beg for reviews because I like them so much. Judge me. Won't do you much good unless that's how you relieve your stress. Enjoy my readers... the plot thickens... sort of...**


	7. This took terribly long

Hello again fellow readers I the terribly spotty updater have returned! Now before you throw the tomatoes I have many excuses... all of them lame and sort of ish true.

Ack you guys have knifes! I thought rotten vegetables were the usual... Oh right I took so long updating that you guys had the time to buy some weapons, clean them, head to your pilates class, and clean them again, all after doing everything else you usually do. He he...

Alright enough talk let's get down to business! (And remember we're not defeating Huns(Gatz did I just make a disney reference?!)) Sue me. Stole all your damn characters disney! SEE HOW YOU LIKE THAT just go stealing characters! Not like George Lucas needed them anyway!... Man do I need Jesus(Forgive me if I just offended you). Shut up! Shut up you mentally insane fanfic writer! We won't report you if you just write your story!

PS: My authors notes in no way reflect my mental state of being. Ignore the nuttiness (I prefer cashews by the way almonds are evil though) and enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

The adults of the crew stood staring at each other floundering in the strange situation they found themselves in. Ezra was who knows where on the ship upset and injured and half of them had just had a shocking discussion about what the other half had been thinking about doing.

"Guys we should split up; start looking for Ezra now"

Every body shook their heads in agreement to Sabine's suggestion. Sabine and Zeb immediately sprang into action but Hera hesitated looking at Kanan. As his teacher and in general as being a Jedi Kanan would be able to feel Ezra, especially since it was a small ship and Ezra was particularly upset.

"Kanan." Hera looked at him wanting to say more. He nodded his head. He would find Ezra and despite his lack of faith he would try to fix this. Hera headed off in a pseudo search while Kanan closed his eyes concentrating on Ezra's presence in the force.

Kanan cringed as he found Ezra. There was a lot of pain there, emotional and some physical. Pain that had stemmed from his own actions and a life that had been destroyed by the presence and greed of the Empire. Sighing Kanan tried to mentally prep himself for helping Ezra, however he felt inadequate. He himself still struggled with his own emotions and with controlling himself. The entire episode was his fault, from the injuries to the failed mission, he had let his fear overwhelm him.

Following the feeling Kanan soon found himself in front of the maintenance closet that nobody ever used anymore. From here he could hear the soft sobs and he felt his heart strain. Originally upon Ezra's entrance into their lives he had looked at the kid with pity and interest. He was used to seeing the victims of the empire and Ezra wasn't an exception. Even upon learning more about the kid's painful living he had hardened his heart; there were plenty of other people that had suffered and Ezra was just another one of them.

Ezra had stayed though and somehow had wormed his way into a part of Kanan's heart that cared immensely. Opening the door Kanan felt even worse when he saw Ezra curled up in the corner of the closet arms wrapped around himself in an attempt for self-comfort. Crouching down Kanan put his hand out gently and slowly. He lightly laid it on Ezra's shoulder. Ezra flinched back from it and Kanan swallowed hard not sure what exactly he should be doing.

"Ezra" He said it soft and quiet. An inquiry without a question. Ezra however was immersed in some other place head buried in himself body turned away from Kanan. Sitting down next to Ezra Kanan again put a hand out this time maintaining contact even as Ezra flinched away and tensed. Gently rubbing small circles on Ezra's back Kanan saw that the kid had broken his stitches and blood was staining the pajamas he was wearing.

Reaching out with the force Kanan tried to calm Ezra. He felt Ezra began to relax, muscles releasing their tension ever so slightly. They stayed that way for a while Ezra still curled in on himself quiet sobs gone and Kanan sitting next to him a hand resting gently on Ezra's back. Sabine suddenly appeared mouth open in an angry question. Her voice died away before it even started as she saw Ezra's form. Kanan looked up at her sending a silent message. Backing away Sabine left quietly.

Kanan moved his other hand forward and began stroking Ezra's hair fingers pulling gently through the blue locks. Ezra shifted for the first time since Kanan had entered the room turning away from the wall head instinctively laying down on Kanan's leg. Kanan adjusted himself to the new position and the arm that had been rubbing Ezra's back looped it's way around the small form. Kanan didn't know when but Ezra at some point fell asleep soft breaths puffing in and out. Kanan managed to slide out from under Ezra and scooped him up.

Walking out from the closet he was confronted by multiple angry and concerned faces all holding their tongue because Ezra was asleep. Kanan just walked on into Ezra's room settling him on the bed. He studied the kid in front of him many things flying about in his head all conflicting with each other. He was unsure what to do now. He was still adamantly sure that the ship wasn't a safe place for Ezra but as the current events were yielding it seemed that removing Ezra wasn't such a great idea. Those were just the most obvious issues on top of it was the understanding of what a relationship should be between a Master and their padawan. Though it was important to know your master well it was also considered bad to be maintaining such a familial tie. A jedi had to be calm and disconnected; their mind a place unaffected by their relationships with others. He, Kanan, was terrible at this.

Kanan was insecure about his own abilities as a jedi let alone the responsibility of training someone. Head spinning with the confliction of what he felt and what he had been taught Kanan stared down at the kid who had managed to topple his deep conviction to the jedi way. Running his fingers through the kids hair Kanan wished Ezra could have his family back. No child should have had to endure what he did. Ezra having wormed his way into his heart was like a son Kanan had never thought possible especially since the jedi way warned at attachments that were like it.

Zeb had entered the room along with Hera while Chopper and Sabine lingered outside the door.

Hera approached Kanan first hand coming to rest on Kanan's shoulder.

"We should fix his stitches."

Kanan looked up and slightly nodded his head in agreement.

"Then." Hera said giving him a significant look.

"Then we need to talk to everyone."

Zeb gave an appraising look, happy that the issue was finally getting dealt with openly. Stepping forward he budged his way between Hera and Kanan.

"I'll bandage the kid up. I did it before."

stepping away both Hera and Kanan acquiesced.

They all now sat around the kitchen table Zeb bearing a general feeling of aggression and tension. He understood that there were some things that were not meant to be shared with everyone but he was angry that Hera and Zeb had been lying about this and making decisions behind their back. Sabine also felt similarly, she hated lies, more so in this way because they could hurt someone she cared about.

Kanan and Hera sat opposite them and were both apprehensive, they could see the underlying anger and frustration.

"We're sorry." Kanan started out. "We lied and made some decisions that we're regretting. Ezra does matter to us and after my lack of judgement with the mission I was starting to think that maybe being on the ship wasn't a safe enough place for Ezra."

Sabine snorted in a derisive laugh.

"Obviously the ship isn't safe Kanan. That's not the problem. It's never been safe, but since when has anywhere been safe for people that aren't on good terms with the Empire?"

"I know. I understand that, it's just Ezra's a kid-"

"And? So what? He's our family! It doesn't matter if here is the safest place or the cleanest. It's the best place! We're his family."

Kanan looked subdued at Sabine's outburst but continued to explain.

"I know that now. I just-I'm trying to help you guys understand what we've been discussing, Hera and I. We were thinking it would be safer to place him with a rebel family but..."

Hera picked up "We thought it would be better."

Zeb glared at the two. "Well it doesn't matter because Ezra's staying here. We're a family which means we help each other to the bitter bloody end."

Hera and Kanan nodded their heads in agreement and silence fell around the table until Chopper made some beeps and soft mechanic chitters. Hera smiled down at the robot.

"Yeah that's right. Ezra is going to stay here."

* * *

Alright then readers. Thank you again for sticking it through. I am going to continue the story work on the recovery of Ezra and his eventual understanding that the whole crew loves him. There will be more action at some point and of course more fluffy schmloop. Feel free to review and send me complaints.


	8. To Infinity and BEYOND!

Hello! I'm back again. To be honest I've got a vague idea about where I'm going with this story but I'm not entirely sure, so I hope that anybody and everybody reading doesn't mind the roller coasters I'm taking you on, from months without an update to the unaware and stupid Hera and Kanan. Again I told you guys I'm not a real good updater but that doesn't mean that I forgot the story it just means it needs some time to mold in my mind just like really good wine. Not that I would really know because I don't drink wine... something to do with being underage and that sort of thing... Enough with my weird analogies.

* * *

Ezra was beginning to tire of waking up completely disoriented. He was achy, tired, and sore. But strangely refreshed. Opening his eyes hazily he looked up to see Kanan slouched in a chair reading something. He closed the book however a warm smile coming onto his face when he saw that Ezra was awake. With a sweep of emotions Ezra remembered what had happened. He blushed and ducked his head under his covers. He felt like such a child. Kanan frowned when Ezra's head disappeared under the blankets and he hesitated on what to do.

The discussion he'd had with the rest of the crew had dragged on for quite some time. Though they'd resolved to keep Ezra with them the way they acted around him was still indeterminate and had become an overly discussed point. Each had their ideas of what they should and shouldn't do but for the most part none of them were totally aware of what was the right thing to do. Weren't they themselves completely dysfunctional? I mean for Hoth's sake Kanan had watched everyone he loved be killed, Zeb had seen that plus his planet destroyed, Hera was from a race known for being trafficked as slaves, and Sabine who had been trained to murder efficiently, let alone Chopper who had experienced who knows what. All of them were poorly equipped to assist in the healthy raising of an abused teenager with partial influence of the force. Thinking about it made Kanan want to rip his hair out, of course until he remembered that he didn't want to tempt the God of receding hair lines anymore than he already did.

Absent-mindedly Kanan reached up to run a hand over his hair.

He waited a few moments for Ezra to reappear but was surprised when he didn't. He probably needed to get used to this. Hera had said that change of any kind required a transition time. Ezra was just going to act different and there wasn't anything he could do about that. Reaching out a hand Kanan placed his hand on Ezra's head.

Ezra flinched slightly when he felt Kanan's hand on his head. Internally he cursed himself. He was never this weak. He'd stopped flinching years ago. That imperceptible movement of withdrawal had faded as he'd gotten used to the blunt stares, the vicious stares and rude names. Ezra was surprised when he felt a hot liquid substance roll down his cheeks. Oh goodness, did he have to cry again. The very thought made his eyes burn more and he squeezed them shut.

Kanan felt Ezra tense under his hand, head ducking slightly.

"Ezra?" Kanan asked with caution. Ezra pulled away even more.

Kanan gulped, not anticipating a repeat of yesterday. He still didn't feel adequate for this job. Scooting the chair closer Kanan tried to pull the covers down only to be rejected with a sharp tug away and a growled "Go away".

Withdrawing his hand Kanan peered anxiously down at Ezra. Getting up he exited the room.

Ezra heard him go and he curled up fighting the tears in his eyes. He hated this. He hated it so much. Why did they have to pretend to care? What was the point of him caring when they wouldn't care back? A fierce anger wound its way through Ezra every drop of it determined to not let him cry, to not show weakness. He was so distraught he almost didn't hear the door open. The footsteps were too light to be Kanan or Zeb and it definitely wasn't Chopper. He was even more surprised when he felt the plop of a body on his bed. Whoever they were, they were sitting too close for comfort and Ezra again began to wiggle away trying to avoid pulling any sore or stitched parts of his body while trying to make progress on his space from the intruder.

Unfortunately he ended up looking like a extremely baby seal trying to roll over. Sabine almost couldn't suppress a giggle. Sabine without saying anything leaned over and gave Ezra a hug. Ezra froze as he recognized the smell of paint and gunpowder. Sabine Wren was hugging him. His wiggling became even more pronounced, his throat more constricted.

"Stop wriggling Ezra, it's like trying to hug a seizuring cocoon."

Ezra despite himself stopped. Who was he to deprive the lovely and awesome Sabine anything? Now that he wasn't moving Sabine wrapped her arms around him even more.

"You know I felt the same way. Not exactly of course. I'm not an orphan and I didn't have to fend for myself."

Ezra stopped clenching his eyes and his body relaxed a little, he was listening.

"I couldn't believe that anybody could care, let alone even know me."

Sabine gave a little smile herself.

"Then I met the crew. And I eventually realized that I had people who cared about me and loved me. It may come as a surprise but you matter just as much as everybody else. Sometimes a little bit more because of how crazy you are."

Sabine scooted a little closer.

"Even if you can't see it through our crazy dysfunctional parts. We all love you. I don't think this ship would ever be as great as it is without you."

Sabine squeezed Ezra extra hard and then leaned back rising from the bed.

"Now. I'm going to go clean my guns. And when you decide to come out of your little cocoon you can help me. It's probably about time you learned how to take care of one."

Ezra lay nearly frozen as he heard the soft clip of her boots as she left. Maybe ...mabye they did want him here after all?

Ten minutes later Sabine looked up to find Ezra in her doorway, still in his pajamas, eyes still bleary from crying and plain exhaustion. Sabine smiled at him and he gave a small, if not genuine, smile back. He clambered over and sat down on the floor Sabine already placing one of her guns in his hand.

* * *

Kanan watched in surprise alongside Hera and Zeb as Ezra padded into Sabine's room. All three exchanged looks.

"Wonder what she said to 'im?"

Hera shook her head at Zeb's question.

"Well it worked I supposed. He's out of his room and he doesn't look devastated."

Kanan looked on slightly jealous.

"Doing a better job than you eh?"

Kanan glared over at Zeb's mischievous grin.

"Doing a better job than the both of you." Hera said giving Zeb a pointed look.

"But if we want to see him keep looking better than we're going to have to get some food into him. Either of you ladies wanna come cook?"

both Kanan and Zeb exchanged glances arms going to point at the other. Hera rolled her eyes motioning both of them to the kitchen. Hopefully, she thought, Ezra was just what their dysfunctional little family needed. And maybe they would become just a little less dysfunctional. But not before their vigilante jobs were over she thought as she eyed their already dwindling supply.

* * *

Again sorry that this is like ... oh goodness I don't even know how long it's been... too long though...Sorry anyway.


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